A Parent's Guide to Soothing and Understanding Crying Babies
, by Artorias Tse,
7 min reading time
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As a parent, hearing your baby cry can be distressing. You desperately want to soothe them, but sometimes their tears seem endless no matter what you try. Rest assured, you’re not alone. All babies cry—it’s how they communicate needs and discomforts. The key is learning to decode these cries so you can best attend to your little one.
With some knowledge of why babies cry paired with handy calming techniques, you’ll gain confidence in caring for your upset infant. I will cover the basics of crying, including common causes and practical soothing strategies.
You’ll also learn the importance of building emotional resilience for both baby and parent. While the crying stages don’t last forever, they allow babies to express needs and emotions critical to development. With lots of love and patience, you’ll make it through fussy periods together.
Why Do Babies Cry?
Crying is your baby’s way of speaking up before they can talk. Through tears, they signal important needs like hunger, discomfort, loneliness, overstimulation, and other distress. Babies cry for lots of reasons, so it helps to understand the basics.
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Communicating Needs
Newborns cry when they have a basic need to convey, like hunger, a soiled diaper, or being too hot or cold. Tuning into cues like smacking lips for hunger or tugging at ears for discomfort helps you decipher and respond. Over time, you’ll come to recognize your baby’s distinct cries.
Emotional Release
Even without an obvious cause, babies may cry hard for a sustained period. This allows them to discharge stress hormones and relieve tension. Try comfort measures, but simply being present through emotional releases is powerful.
Building Resilience
Crying in a safe, responsive environment builds a baby’s capacity to self-regulate emotions. With your empathetic support, they gain skills to handle and bounce back from distress. This emotional resilience serves them well now and later in life.
The Basics of Baby Crying
To make sense of all those tears, it helps to understand normal crying patterns and common reasons babies fuss.
What’s Normal
The peak of crying at 6-8 weeks
2+ hours of daily crying in the early months
Intense cries without apparent discomfort
The Fussiest Time in the Late Afternoon/Evening
While every baby is unique, these crying phases are typical and temporary. As you better understand their needs and they develop, crying should gradually decrease. If excessive crying concerns you, consult your pediatrician.
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Common Causes
Hunger: Crying often signals an empty tummy! Feed on demand every 1-3 hours. Watch for early hunger cues like rooting and mouthing hands.
Gas: Swallowing air during feeds and immature digestion leads to painful gas. Try burping frequently and bicycle kicks. Gentle tummy massage also helps pass gas.
Diaper Issues: Check often! Wet or dirty diapers cause discomfort. For rashes, treat skin and use super absorbent diapers to allow healing.
Overtiredness: Missing sleep cues leads to overtired, fussy babies. Establish calming bedtime routines. Swaddling and white noise encourage quality daytime naps too.
Overstimulation: Loud environments, bright lights, cluttered spaces, or quick activity changes overstimulate babies. Move to quiet spots and simplify your interactions until calmer.
Colic: Intense crying without identifiable cause lasting over 3 hours a day, 3+ days a week is colic. Talk to your doctor and use soothing techniques until it passes.
Illness: Unusual crying paired with concerning symptoms like fever, sluggishness, or refusal to eat could indicate illness. Call your pediatrician with any worries.
Practical Tips for Immediate Relief
In fussy moments, having a toolbox of calming techniques helps minimize crying while meeting the baby’s needs. Experiment to find what’s most effective for your little one.
Swaddling: Many babies love snug swaddles, which feel like the tight quarters of the womb. Ensure hips can move freely and stop swaddling as soon as baby shows signs of trying to roll.
Movement: Rhythmic motions remind the baby of movements in the womb. Try gentle bouncing while holding your baby close, rocking chairs, baby strollers, travel stroller, baby swings, and carriers.
Sound: Both white noise and shushing simulate soothing womb noises. Play rainfall tracks and make “shhh” sounds next to baby’s ear. Some babies may be calmed by music, humming or reading aloud too.
Feeding: Frequent growth spurts increase hunger and crying. Nurse or bottle feed on demand every 1-3 hours in newborns. If gassiness is an issue, burp halfway through feeds.
Diapering: Promptly tend to wet or dirty diapers which cause discomfort when left unchanged. To prevent or heal rashes, use super absorbing diapers and protective ointments/creams.
Temperature & Clothing: Dress baby similar to your own layering. Overheating and chilling cause cries. Feel baby’s chest or back of the neck to assess if temp is comfortable.
Change of Scenery: Sometimes a fresh environment helps fussy babies reset. Take short, gentle strolls outside in a carrier or baby stroller. The sights, sounds and touch of air can be engaging.
Pacifiers: The sucking motion is innately calming. Offer pacifiers to fussy babies. You won’t spoil baby or confuse them if combining with breastfeeding.
Building Emotional Resilience
Responding lovingly as your baby cries fosters trust and resilience - the ability to cope with and bounce back from distress. Here’s how to support the process.
Remain Calm & Present: Babies sense your emotions. Maintaining calm through cries prevents escalating distress. Your peaceful presence conveys the message, “You can handle this and I’m here for you.”
Set Limits with Empathy: Validate feelings, while reinforcing boundaries if needed. Ex: “You’re really frustrated. I’m sorry, but I can’t let you pull hair. Here’s your toy to grab instead.”
Allow Emotional Release: Crying discharges stress hormones and tension in babies. Support cathartic cries by simply being present, holding the baby, or talking reassuringly.
Build Your Own Resilience: Caring for a crying baby is draining. Recharge by taking breaks, seeking support, practicing self-care, and relinquishing unrealistic expectations of yourself. You’ll soon be able to handle cries with increasing patience and wisdom.
FAQs
Q: How can I stay patient when my baby won’t stop crying? A: Take deep breaths, redirect your focus, and remember crying is temporary. Seeing things from your baby’s perspective can increase empathy and patience.
Q: What self-care tips help parents handle constant crying? A: Get support from loved ones, practice mindfulness, take breaks when needed, prioritize sleep, eat nutrient-rich foods, and squeeze in exercise.
Q: Why does my baby cry more when I’m stressed out? A: Babies sense emotions. When caregivers feel tense or overwhelmed, babies often reflect that distress through increased crying.
Q: How do I cope with crying triggering my childhood trauma? A: Get professional help to process trauma, lean on your support system, practice self-care, and develop healthy coping outlets like journaling or support groups.
Q: What are signs my baby’s crying indicates a medical issue? A: Excessive crying plus fever, sluggishness, poor feeding, or other concerning symptoms may signal an underlying illness requiring medical attention.
Q: How can going for walks with my baby in a stroller help reduce crying? A: Pushing your baby in a travel stroller provides gentle motion which can be soothing. A change of scenery and fresh air can also help distract and reset an upset baby’s senses, potentially minimizing crying spells. Just be sure the baby is comfortably dressed before a stroll.
Conclusion
Hearing your little one cry helplessly tugs at your heartstrings. Yet understanding the meaning and phases of tears allows you to respond thoughtfully to their needs. Arm yourself with plenty of practical soothing techniques to minimize fussy spells. Remember crying enables emotional healing, communication of needs, and resilience building in babies, so offer comfort through the tears. Your attentive presence through these fleeting fussy periods will guide them in learning to navigate big feelings with support now and confidence later.
